Still Undefeated
- Jan 28, 2020
- 15 min read
Updated: Jan 31, 2020
Ashleigh, 1 | Cancer, 0
Warm-Up
It’s a special time for me and mine. I felt a tug on my heart to share my testimony with the world because as they say, whatever God pushes or pulls you through is forever and always for His glory. Hopefully my experiences can truly be a testament to what He is capable of, what we are capable of, and provoke you to think a little longer about love, light, and purpose.
Keep in mind prior to today, MAYBEEEEE ten people knew. For various reasons. That may sound selfish to some of you who are rather close to me. I’m tough. Hella tough, but that’s what made being vulnerable in such a way so difficult. I needed to process it myself. Honestly, I still don’t fully understand what happened. I don’t know that I ever will. But this is what I got! Please forgive me. I am now ready to answer any questions or concerns you may have.
Here we go ….
1st Quarter
Soooo funny story, one day in January of 2018, I was out eating fajitas and drinking margaritas as I usually do lol, queso and guac too! Shout out to San José. And I had a nagging pain in my side. Almost causing shortness of breath. I have a habit of slouching over, so it was as if my ribs were putting an uncomfortable amount of pressure on my diaphragm (right side specifically). So, it was lowkey putting a damper on my night. Only relief I got was from lying flat on my back or sitting upright allowing me to stretch my torso. After a week of discomfort, I decided to check out urgent care, because as most millennials, I dont’t actually have a primary care physician. The doctor tested me for as much as he could in house. At the time he believed that the pain was possibly coming from gallstones in the gallbladder, but only further testing could confirm this. Therefore, additional imaging was scheduled for the right upper quadrant of my stomach.
Upon arriving the ultrasound tech and I were having a good old time. I’m the type of person to make conversation in typical situations where one could be awkward or nervous. Conversing allows me to take my mind off of things and make me more comfortable. I believe it is extremely important also, for everyone to ask as many questions as possible to understand exactly what they are being tested for, why they are being tested and any other questions surrounding your office visit(s). I received an ultrasound very similar to the one women receive while pregnant. She rubbed the gel on my stomach for some time. Again, with the intent to retrieve images on the upper right quadrant of my stomach. Not long after though, the ultrasound tech had covered my entire stomach, even asked me to pull my pants down to my pelvic region to access my ovaries. She also, adjusted the tone of her voice – just enough to gain my attention. Honestly, I wasn’t comfortable enough to just ask outright “what do you see?” So instead, I asked “how soon do I get the results?” Two to three days was the expected timeline before the radiologist turned it around and got it back to the initial physician. So instead of bugging out, I gave it to the Big Man and got back to work.
Well two to three days smooth turned into five weeks, then six, then seven lol, you get the picture. And I had yet to hear anything back. I wasn’t tripping to be honest, because here we are in February and the pain had pretty much subsided. It was more or less, out of sight – out of mind. Now at this point, my cycles were STOOOOOPID for the um-teeth month in a row.
Media Timeout
Ladies, pay attention to your cycles, just because it happens frequently doesn’t make it “normal,” talk to your doctor – take notes, if you don’t like what you hear, if you don’t like how you feel take care of you! Get a second opinion. Third if you have to, whatever it takes.
My cycles were so stupid, I thought I was smooth back in middle school. I felt like for the first few days of my cycle I couldn’t leave the house as my flow was so unpredictable. It got to the point where my pants were soaked … BUT GET THIS, my tampon was clean as a whistle (I eventually learned that I was clotting ridiculously during my cycle.) The tampon of course was not made for this. My uncontrollable cycles were enough for me to want to go back to the doctor – but I didn’t believe it was related in any way to the previous “pain in side.” As my cycle ended the pain reappeared. Not as consistent, but still nagging none the less. Especially when pressure was applied to my stomach (I can’t tell you how many times my kids flat out punched ya girl in the stomach 😩🙃 and I took it, because I KNOW I terrorize them at times too – but boy!!!) Mind you, I’m also working out heavy at this point. Typically, I wear medium shirts. My whole life really. At some point in 2017 I thought I was just gaining my “adult” weight because I transitioned to a large. Top of 2018 though… that large was snug too! So, I decided to train a little harder. From my daily exercise to the physical demands of my job, I’m thinking at this point maybe I’m just sore. So, I’m even experimenting with massages to rid of what I thought to be muscle soreness. Just digging into my side, smh lol. After no resolve, I finally called to check on those results. In March … that I was supposed to receive two to three days later … in January 😐. The young lady over the phone iterated that the ultrasound suggested I needed to follow up with a Gynecologist as they found multiple fibroids, two large cysts (one on my uterus – the other on my right ovary), and a very large “mass” in my uterus. Crazy right 😶.
2nd Quarter
Idk why, but every GYN in the metro had a minimum of a month wait. So, after waiting even longer for an appointment, at the top of April I was finally able to get on the books with who we will refer to as Dr. Dope (she was super-dupa fly). At this point, I’m ready to knock it all out. So, from top to bottom: get all yearly testing completed, discuss my cycles, and hear what she had to say about the madness in my stomach, so I could get back to taking over the world. Dr. Dope actually prescribed medicine to stop my cycle in the meantime, but not adjust my hormone levels or “do anything crazy” until we dive deeper in the stomach issue. I left that day with another follow up to receive another ultrasound 🙃 to get a closer look at the mass. This time the radiologist who read the results was previously a gynecologist and would have a much better idea as to what was needed in reference to an overall plan of attack and what was best for my female parts. UNBEKNOWNST TO MEEEEEEE (soulja boy voice) I was having to do the big girl ultrasound to “get a closer look” 😑.
You already know I’m talking this tech’s head off since she got me busting it wide open with no warning lol. Which at this point I’ve recognized my “relationship building” is a perfect strategy. It breeds consistency, which allows me to peep game when the said person switches up. The perfect thing about this ultrasound for my inquisitive ahh is that they had the big screen up “to look at the baby.” So, this time, I don’t have to ask “what do you see” because I see it! Clearly too! 🧐. Comfortable Cathy was talking so much at this point (as she was clearly prepped for the imaging) that she failed to ask me if I actually had a clue as to what was going on. In all of her talking she somewhat put me on game that what was there … wasn’t actually supposed to be there. This time around though I was going to get all my questions out. “What is that? Wait … that’s it? That’s big right? Go back … ok where are my ovaries? Where is my uterus? What is this supposed to look like? SOOOOO what’s the difference between a mass and a tumor? 👀” She became hesitant somewhere around question 12 and was mute by question 15 in our game of 21 questions. At this point I’m not sure who was more nervous me or her lol. I can laugh now but I hated her backtracking. I do understand it isn’t her position to tell me “what she sees” however you’ve gotta know I’m concerned about the findings and deserve to know. I didn’t appreciate how I felt leaving the office. Essentially Comfortable Cathy morphed into Petrified Patty because all answers were “please save these questions for Dr. Dope.” So yet again, I’m leaving with a two to three-day turnaround time. This time though, Dr. Dope called me a little after 6:00p to detail the immense research she had completed into my “issue.”
My follow up was at the top of the next week. This time we moved with a sense of urgency. The appointment overall was much more professional, much more detailed. With images of the mass for me to actually take home along with other details including overall plan of attack. The mass ultimately was attached to my uterus through humongous blood vessels. She stated she’d completed many hysterectomy’s, full and partial … however, believed even with help, it was far too risky for her to operate personally (as the main concern is mass removal – not uterus removal). She’d reviewed numerous case studies. Consulted with doctor after doctor just to see if they’d seen anything like it. Even though they had not, she was certain cancer wasn’t anything to be worried about, as I was far too young for any gynecological cancers statistically. They also were confident because these cancers have common findings … none of which I presented. However, the OBGYN Radiologist and Dr. Dope determined that the best course of action was to refer me to a Gynecological Oncologist to remove the mass/cysts due to the complications of the surgery overall. But still yet, no worries! Before leaving, I gave them 13 vials of blood to be exact, smh! I was scared … and tired. The vials would be used to screen the blood for any sign of cancer. This too, came back as normal (Thank God!)
Even though there were no worries of cancer itself, she informed me that a full hysterectomy was a possibility. “At 27, it will certainly be avoided.” They also ensured they would attempt to salvage my ovaries if at all possible as they avoid sending young adults into menopause. This is where shhh got REAL! Because I neeeeddd a little boy or girl who looks just like the kid. So, with the information provided I began booking consults to freeze my eggs (Being Mary Jane style). Oh & I looked up “mass in uterus” come to find out mass and tumor are synonymous apparently … I assume they don’t say tumor bc it typically scares the beejeejeezs out of ppl (however, I’m rather straight forward and logical so them not saying TUMOR when it was indeed a tumor bothered me) 🙄 and that is when she lost her Dr. Dope title.
Half Time
We concluded the appointment by discussing my gynecological oncologist’s gender preference. The closest female was located in Charlotte. Only men were located in my surrounding area. I decided to commute and proceed with a female as I believed she would be more understanding and considerate in the removal of my female parts and not so “get it done.” Needless to say, this is one of the best decisions I made, and this is how I met who we will forever refer to as Dr. LifeSaver 😳 yea … it’s about to get real … stick with me.
3rd Quarter
Halfway through May, I visited Dr. LifeSaver at the Cancer Center in Charlotte, NC and it scared the shhh out of me. In the first appointment we combed through all details of the previous findings. After multiple CT Scans, PET Scans, Ultrasounds and MRI’s ... Finally, I got the real! Which was refreshing. Dr. LifeSaver from day one gave me the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. I found out that the “mass” was indeed a tumor. Without me having to ask, she proceeded to answer the biggest question on everyone’s mind … was it cancerous or nah? Generally, a biopsy would have been completed to truly determine this. However, she did not want to complete this based on the size of the tumor. The plan was to remove the mass, as well as the cysts. How she did this though, would be left up to me. After the procedure, the findings would be sent to Harvard (crazy right?! Smh) to be reviewed by a specialist and provide complete details and more specifically whether the tumor was malignant or benign.
She explained that I had two options, I could either receive a partial hysterectomy, or a complete hysterectomy. What she did next possibly was the biggest blessing. Instead of waiting for my response and allowing me to go back and forth mentally about all the issues with losing my uterus at 27. She cut through the bs and got straight to the point. With me being such a logical individual, it was the perfect approach to be frank. She continued by discouraging a partial hysterectomy. She was honest and upfront about the difficulties in child birth after partial hysterectomy which in turn increased odds of having a C-section thereafter. The partial hysterectomy also increased difficulty in healing as it pertained to the recovery process and proved to be more painful overall. Not to mention, in the event I proceeded with the hysterectomy … in considering the worst case … if the “tumor” was malignant, the cancer cells can “spill over” and affect other cells essentially causing the cancer to spread. She believed it was also necessary to remove the fallopian tubes as well because it is now proven that uterine cancer is linked to them. My left ovary would remain intact, and the right ovary would be salvaged as best as possible (day of decision) because the large cyst was attached to it and would also have to be removed. At this time my hemoglobin was around an 11, and my uterus truly measured as if I Was 6/7 months pregnant (hence why my clothes didn’t fit 😐).
That same day I booked surgery as well. The date we settled on was just after the fourth of July because I had a ton of events for work in June and of course I had to catch my kids on the circuit playing in front of college coaches for the first live period in July. But God had other plans. A few days after this appointment, not only did my period come on, but it never stopped! 😩 A week past, then two, then three … you get the picture. Still no relief. Of course, the initial meds to “stop my cycle” just weren’t cutting it. I was literally bleeding though an entire box of tampons every two to three days. Pain though, had ultimately subsided. Therefore, I equipped myself with the boxessss of tampons to make it through the coming weeks to make it to surgery. At this point I’m ON GO, in full event planning attack mode. So looking back, I’m pretty sure adrenaline helped me push through.
4th Quarter
My staff held down my client load. On June 22nd we hosted our first free high school team exposure camp that was extremely important to me and very successful. We had 12 teams lined up to compete in drills and skills components as well as various other competitive games in front of collegiate coaches. Followed by the very first “Mamba Day: Free Community Pick-Up Event” on June 22nd. This event was sponsored by WNBA player Jewell Loyd aka the “Gold Mamba,” coined by Kobe Bean himself. Pick up is an essential part of the game, we just inked a major contract with Jewell and as always were finding ways to push the game forward in our community. So again, it was a MUST DO! Truthfully, my love language is making shh happen. God gave me just enough energy to get all training clients enrolled for the summer, through our events we’d been planning from the top of the year and for that I am thankful. It was truthfully, just what I asked of Him. Throughout this time, I stayed in touch with my doctors. As the main concern for everyone was to be sure I didn’t lose too much blood. They would allow me to work as long as my blood clots weren’t the size of a tangerine.
Monday, June 25, 2018 -- After the long weekend, naturally, I was exhausted from the various activities. Or at least so I thought. At this point, I need Depends Adult Diapers for the amount of blood I was losing. And not only is my flow substantial and HEAVY, frequently filled with clots, but I also had been bleeding for a month straight. I decided to spend the day resting.
The day after, I decided to step out and grab lunch before work. At this point I’m officially feeling the weakest I’ve ever felt in my life. After lunch, I slept for the remainder of the afternoon and well into the evening. Around 10/11p I woke up to use the restroom and change my diaper 🙄. What I saw made me call my mom, like any nervous young adult would do … because something just didn’t feel right. I was posed with making the decision to either go to the emergency room in Columbia and run the risk of having the surgery with a stranger or driving a little over an hour to Charlotte (while losing blood) with a staff that was familiar with my “situation.” So, off to Charlotte we went! But it wouldn’t be a story if I didn’t leave my bag, WITH MY DEPENDS, and all other belongings at home, as I left in a panic 🤦🏾♀️. So pit stop at wal-MARKET for depends. And yes there is a difference. Apparently, there is absolutely no civilization between Columbia and Rock Hill/Charlotte. So, the closest thing that is open at this time of night is the Wal-Mart Grocery store. By the grace of God, that actually sell depends! At this point, let’s skip the tangerine size blood clots and say ALIENS are coming out of me. I really wish I could skip the dramatics and say I arrived at the hospital safe and surgery went great. But before I can get to that. I PASSED CLEAN OUT, IN WALLY WORLD 😕.
Changing my adult diaper and losing multiple alien babies left ya kid DIZZY, dazed, and hella clammy. But the only thing I could think about was make it to Dr. LifeSaver. Like I said, I make shh happen for a living. So, I stumbled to the sink to wash my hands, composed myself (so I thought), and proceeded to walk out the bathroom. First step out of the bathroom everything immediately went black. I wake up to everybody and their grandma (literally this is how old the attendants at Wal-Market were) assisting me and trying to get an ambulance to me as soon as possible. Remember though, the mission was operation make it to Dr. LifeSaver! So, I got my ahh up, dusted myself off (with some help from SuperWoman herself) and kept trucking to Charlotte.
At this time it’s early morning of June 27th, I of course have got to explain fifty times to the ER attendants what’s going on, why I’m here, and who I’m here to see. After some time, I finally get checked in and seen. Only to find out that my hemoglobin is measured at 5.3 (it’s supposed to range from 12-15). So nowwww I need a BLOOD TRANSFUSION, two actually 🤢🤢🤢. I’m a germophobe (thank you Nana, aka Jesus’ Niece, for this). So now, I’m officially freaking out. I know, I know, I know. They test the blood a MILLION TIMES, you don’t have to tell me again. And to be frank that’s not even the point. I just think its nasty 😷lol.
Around 8/9a Dr. Lifesaver is officially on the scene and surgery was scheduled for the end of the day! At this point, I’m feeling better. But can’t eat or drink due to protocol. So, I slept instead. Surgery itself was flawless. I received a full hysterectomy, from in my opinion the best Gynecologist Oncologist and her team, and I left with both of my ovaries in tack. This was a WIN!
I stayed in the hospital until June 30th. Each day having various highs and lows. I needed two more transfusions before I could be discharged. And of course, probably experienced some of the worst pain in my life. It’s just a rough procedure honestly. You truly need your core FOR EVERYTHING. After the procedure, the tumor was sent to Harvard to be studied by one of the top sarcoma specialists to give us further details. A few weeks later, I received news that the tumor was INDEED malignant. PEComa, stage 1. Apart of the sarcoma family. In laymen’s terms ... I had (past-tense) cancer.
We discussed over the phone what the next few months would look like. More specifically, first, how we would ensure that the cancer was nowhere else in my body, and the protocol to be proactive and ensure it wouldn’t return. In the event it did, how to catch it early.
Post-Game
Today is January 28th, 2020. Kobe Bean has me, like always, outside of my comfort zone. Even in his death he's asking for MORE 😂!
After a lot of tests, a lot of tears, A LOT of appointments, and being poked and prodded hundreds maybe thousands of times at this point … I’m extremely fortunate to say that I’m cancer free. It took me a minute to write this to you good people because it honestly took a lot for me to digest it myself. I’m not one for sympathy, and I’m an athlete. So let’s be honest, of course I love attention and a damn good comeback story. But I never thought in a million years the Big Man would take me through a comeback like this!
I’m living, I’m happier, I’m healthier, and I’m 1000% more intentional than ever before. I hope this can serve as some inspiration to you to live every day to the fullest, giving everything you’ve got, and considering others, because you truly never know what someone else is going through. I hope it encourages you to make better decisions. Like, really, honestly, truly FOR YOU. Making the best decisions for you. Because you deserve it. Prioritizing you, your health, your peace, and your well-being overall. And most importantly, with purpose and intention. I believe we are here for a reason and are certainly on borrowed time. Too often we forget that. So, I hope my experience can put things into perspective for you and remind you why you’re here. I hope to motivate you to make shhh happen, because there isn’t any time to waste. Believe that. How do I know you can do it too? Because after all, “we are different animals ... but the SAME BEAST”. – Kobe Bean Bryant 1978-2020
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